Only God knows why
by Anime Wildfire
Summary: When Lily Evans receives a terrible letter, her first instinct is to run- and she does, so a certain hazel eyed man follows her. Lily/James oneshot.


**Again, another oneshot that haunted my thoughts until I sat my butt down and wrote it. It's a bit sad, but not as sad as I thought I'd be.**

**The song I picture for this story is 'don't dream it's over' by Sixpence non the richer. Look, I'm even providing a link: /watch?vE3NnewTgQDY**

**Now you can listen to the song while you read! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- I always for get this, but I don't own Harry Potter. Get it. Got it. Good.**

--

She tore out of the Great Hall as if she were running from death itself, tears spilling down her cheeks as she did.

Her friends stared after her in confusion, dumbfounded. Alice stood up to go after her, but a hand pulled her down, nodding towards their fellow Gryffindors. Alice followed her friend's nod, and saw James Potter quickly stand up from his seat and run out of the great hall after Lily, his three friends watching him go before Sirius and Remus turned to shoot a glance at Alice. She shook her head.

'Let him go' she mouthed, and they nodded.

-0-

She ran and ran, pain prickling in her side from running so hard, her breathing coming in gasps as she ran on and on.

She finally stopped at the astronomy tower. Taking deep, painful breaths as she pressed her back against the wall and slid to the floor, burying her face in her hands and sobbing.

The crumpled piece of paper in her hand fell and landed on the floor next to her, and she stared down at it, slowly reaching down to pick it up and smooth it, her eyes scanning over it once more.

_Ministry of Magic official deceased notice_

_Miss Evans,_

_We are sorry to inform you, that, unfortunately, your mother and father, Mr. And Mrs. Harold Evans, were killed in a car accident yesterday night. Your sister, Mrs. Petunia Dursley, has been informed, and a funeral has been arranged to take place three days from today at 3:00 pm. We are sorry for your loss._

A new wave of sobs tore through Lily as she crumpled the letter in her fist once more, burying her face in her hands again.

That was when he showed up.

"Lily?" his voice was soft, concerned. She looked up with teary eyes and noticed him.

"What do you want Potter?" she choked out, sniffling in an attempt to halt her tears. He stepped forward and sat next to her, making no move to touch her.

"Are you ok? What happened?"

Wordlessly, she handed him the note, forgetting for one moment, that she was his enemy, the man who constantly asked her out, no matter how much he'd changed…

He smoothed out the letter, and as soon as he read the sentence at the top, his eyes widened. He quickly scanned the letter before turning to face Lily. He looked her in the eye, and to her surprise, there wasn't pity there. There was compassion, and understanding.

As quietly as she'd handed him the note, he handed it back to her, studying her a she took the note and stared at it, her face and eyes red and a sniffle escaping her every few seconds.

For a minute they sat in silence, until Lily finally broke the silence.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye." James lowered his head, staring at the floor. "I know how you feel." He said. Lily stared at him.

"No you don't." she shook her head. "You can't know."

He just stared at her, the compassion still in his eyes. Finally he turned away, staring at the sun that was setting in the distance, his eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't quiet place. It was several minutes before he spoke.

"You feel like you're dying, like you've lost everything in the world." He said quietly. "Almost as if your heart's been ripped out and torn to pieces. You feel like you can be happy again."

Tears began to well up in her eyes as he said this, sliding slowly down her cheeks. He was right. She felt everything he had just described. She glanced up at him, and was surprised to see tears trailing slowly down his cheeks.

She watched him, his face scrunched and his hand balled into a fist, as he struggled to gain control of the emotions she could tell he'd hidden for a long time. She placed a hand on his arm.

"James…" she said, not even caring that she'd just called him by his first name.

James looked at her, taking a deep breath and unclenching his fist. He leaned against the wall, taking another deep breath. Lily watched him.

"How did you know?" she asked. James stared at the floor before answering.

"Summer before sixth year, I got a letter just like the one you did. It was about my parents. They died." Lily gasped. "How?"

"They were Aurors." James said, "pretty d-- powerful ones too. Apparently too powerful. While I was away with Sirius in Diagon alley, Death Eaters attacked my house and murdered them."

A sob escaped Lily before she could contain it, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. But she knew James had heard it.

He had. He reached his hand out to her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Lily leaned into his touch, wanting comfort, and knowing that James was the only one who could provide her the comfort she needed.

"How do you stand it?" she asked. James' hand dropped from her face. "Most days…. It's easy to forget, to push it into the back of my mind where I don't think about it. But there are days were it's unbearable, where I feel like I'll never live again." He glanced over at her.

"But it's thanks to you that I'm able to go on." Lily stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" James stared at Lily.

"When ever I feel like the world's gonna end, like I'm never gonna be able to go on again. I think of you. You've always been my source of comfort, my light at the end of the tunnel." Lily was shocked.

"I…I didn't know you felt so strongly for me. I always thought it was just a crush." James smiled slightly.

"Well, it was. At first anyway. It sorta grew over the years." Lily stared at him, her mouth twitching upward slightly. She turned away from James to look at the sunset, and instantly all her sorrows returned. Her parents had loved the sunset.

"I don't know how I'll ever go on." Lily said. James wrapped a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders, watching the sunset with her.

"You will." He said, "I'll help you. I'll always be here to help you." Lily sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a second.

"Why them James? Why them?" she asked, and he knew she wasn't talking only about her parents. He glanced at her, admiring how beautiful she looked in the sunlight despite her tear-stained face.

"Only God knows why Lily."

--

**I know it's a bit cheesy, but I kinda like it. What do you think?**

**By the way, thanks for all you amazing people who've favored me and put me on author alert! It's so awesome to go look up my stats and see that I'm on the Author list for 60 people! Even my mom's impressed...**

**Haha, Chaosmaiden told me a really funny James/Lily line that she made up the other day. I don't know why, but it completely cracks me up. Here it is:**

**James: "You need me to carry your bag?"**

**Lily: "Try again Potter."**

**Talk about random...**

**P.S. I'll be in Wisconsin on Wensday, so say hi to Chaosmaiden and I! We'll be working hard on our stories, so leave plenty of reviews!**


End file.
